L-L-L-Lies

Why play those games , those really silly games with me
oh no no no no no
Oh why oh why you tell me l-l-l-lies...

I was listening to this Diana King song and I got to thinking how much of importance this particular vice enjoys in our lives to have songs written on it.Whats more astounding is how we no longer classify it as a vice but deem it a necessity.

Here's a universal truth:We all lie, not just at some point in our lives, but every single day..and we're constantly playing a one-on-one silly little game.What makes us still shake our heads in desbelief despite this being a universal truth, is the fact that we don't realise we're doing it, or more so convince ourselves we're not doing it, convince others we're not doing it, or simply lie through our teeth and celebrate the death of our nagging conscience.I guess a couple of my friends must be really struggling to hide a smile to have this coming from me, for I am a self-proclaimed, righteous, extremely 'honest' person.But then, am I really?

This brings me to a point where I am compelled to measure my level of dishonesty and I feel I must enlist my version of types of lies and the repercussions.

*WHITE LIES:Now here's the most common species..what the world conveniently terms as "harmless" lies. In my opinion, they don't get as aptly classified under "harmless" as "convenient".The irony is that with the help of this tool we concoct the most colourful of stories.
Common instances..

• "I was late because the train was late..so ideally it wasn't me who was late"(We conveniently forget to mention that the earlier train had been on time)
  
• "I was late because a cow ran onto the street and caused a traffic jam"(You forgot the papers you needed for that meeting and went back)
• "The alarm didn't ring"(You were out partying all last night..and switched the alarm off and went right back to sleep)
• "I am sorry honey..my friends just wouldn't let me go"(You couldn't let go of the TV or the game that was on..alternatively..you tried on a million dresses but didn't want to sound like a fussy puppy)
• "I am sorry mom/dad I was out with friends/I was too busy at work"(I don't wanna know what happened on the latest sitcom and YES! I AM EATING & SLEEPING RIGHT)
• "I was sick"(I was bored/I was lazy/I didn't give a damn)
• "I was busy"(I didn't have a god damn thing to do..I just wanted to avoid this)
• "Tell them I'm not in"(And wonder how many more times I have to tell them before they get the hint and stop bugging me)
• "We'll think about it"(Never gonna happen)

*REFLEX LIES:These are the ones that flow from our lips as easily as water from a tap.In my vocabulary, can be defined as "saving my ass".

• "Of course you deserve that promotion"(Get real..we all know who's the real brains ..ME)
• "Thats funny"(No its NOT..but you are my boss and I HAVE to laugh)
• "No mom I wasn't smoking/drinking"(You know I was..and it ain't gonna change so drop it)
  
• "Its all healthy competition"(Felt great kicking your ass..LOSER)
• "You look fantastic"(I wish you'd change..but we're already late)
• "Of course you don't look fat"(I am not falling for that)
• "Of course he/she is not better"(Not dumb enough to say otherwise!)
• "Its delicious"(I'd rather eat this than cook on my own)
• "I love you"(..and the couch..and the TV..and my side of the bed..and..my space and....)

*MORALE-BOOSTING LIES:These are dangerous..they lead us to delusions.

• "I haven't put on..its this outfit"(Whom am I kidding???)
• "I wasn't at my best"(I got my ass kicked)
• "I think each person is unique(I am sooooooooooooooo jealous!I want to be him/her so bad!)
• "I am gonna be okay"(It will take two more hrs of telling myself this bullshit before I even come close to being okay)
• "I think I'm getting better..just need practice"(I suck!)
• "I think I should do something more creative"(Anything is better than this job)

And of course there are those which CANNOT be classified at any point:

"I saw a UFO and I was so busy promoting universal peace that I couldn't do my homework"(??!!???!??..I know what you are thinking..who'd be dumb enough to say that right?Unfortunately I know some people who are capable)

OR

"WE WILL FIND OSAMA BIN LADEN"

It seems that the whole universe is conspiring to cloak the fact that lying is a vice.Even the English language is a partner in crime.
"I am not THAT good"(I am better than you!)..we call that modesty.
"Miracles can happen anywhere anytime..you can make them happen"(I have spent a hellava time on you and you had better perform even if you suck)..we call that"prep talk".
"God is watching over you..he'll make sure you get your due"(Quit crying you baby, and do something about it)..We call that "instilling hope".

It seems that we spend an awful lot of our extremely short lives, and a lot of energy on thinking 'what not to say' rather than just saying it.Are we really that comfortable hiding under this cloak?

This whole exercise has left me feeling not so honest and not so good about myself.I guess the postulate is:For every occasion , there is a wonderful, totally befitting lie.You just have to have the 'talent' for it.And believe it or not this is a perennial game we play.And since thankfully I have reached the end of my stream of thoughts,(you can heave that sigh of relief)..I know what we all will do..we will convince ourselves that the past five minutes of reading have been completely wasted.Lying is neccessary..its survival..the world is not a friendly place.So lets just smile and appreciate the futile thoughts of this weird chick and get on with life.And as I speak..the clock ticks..and the game continues..

“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it”

-Adolf Hitler