Its raining men... Hallelujah!
Whoever wrote this song must have been in a strip club or a sports bar, for I am of the opinion that men are like parking places..all the good ones are taken, the rest are full of garbage.How does one explain the fact that on a planet where the sex ratio clearly tips in favor of males,its becoming harder and harder to find someone who suits your taste?
Speaking of taste reminds me of some of the other good things in life, thankfully which are available in plenty, like food!Now for a complete foodie such as myself it isn't too unusual to try and relate the two things that occupy prime space in my thoughts..good food and interesting men.Other than the fact that the former can be found perpetually everywhere, and the latter is closer to becoming a myth, the two are not too far apart from each other.All men can be best described by some kind of food and so follows an introduction to this concept for the uninitiated..or the committed.
The Burger:Junk, available everywhere in plenty, run-of-the-mill stuff that does nothing for the imagination or senses.This is the guy who's most likely to come up with the most cheesy pick up lines like "Hey baby, can I buy you a drink" or "I think I must have known you in another life..you seem familiar".This is also the guy who thinks he can charm any woman with Joey's "How 're you doin?".In short strictly avoidable and nauseating.
Popcorn:This is the guy that keeps popping up everywhere..the market, the movies, the univ..no matter where u go he's always there.(Read..the best friend who has a crush on u)..he could never be the main course or the dessert, but he's always good for wherever u might wanna go.He's ur shopping partner, company to check out the latest joint or the latest movie, ur confidant.He also demands a lot of ur time.Could have u begging for a change and some space but then there are always those chicks who never mind having some popcorn around at any given time.
French fries:This is the guy whom u'd love to have for a long time before u get tired of him. Usually ur childhood sweetheart..b4 u realize that u can now finally distinguish between junk and good food and know what works best for u.But then its also difficult to shed off all those calories it brought with it.
Chocolate cake:This is the guy you can't get enough of.Absolutely delicious and can get u hooked for life...this is also the guy who's bad for u..like all the calories that come along.Makes awesome dessert, but mistaking him for the main course can cause serious repercussions.
Fruit salad:he's the guy-next-door.He's the multi talented guy..he's the guy whom u find very hard not to like coz there's always some fruit in there that suits ur taste.He'll play sport and also play music and he's the one u'll swap interesting stories with, and flirt with every morning.He goes with everything.He's cool, he's conventional and there's nothing remotely exciting about him, but sometimes.. we all need some fruit salad.
Creme Brule'e: He's the perfect dessert..sweet,suave, sophisticated and has the dough for having a really good time.He's the guy whom you'll associate with a fancy French restaurant, the opera, the theater..yummy.However he's also the guy who thinks he's god's gift to women.Can also appear really grand, but when ur through with him, u come out with a toothache.He's the kind of guy that my roomie terms as "All fart,..no shit".U get the picture..sometimes too much dough can give u a lotta constipation!
Bread:He's the guy with no imagination and super dry.The guy who will probably go around like a dork and ask never- heard- of questions like "Do u think if I buy only black T shirts..I might never have to do laundry again??" Oh boy! Cheap and in no way harmful, but then does nothing for ur taste buds.
Jello:He's sweet and can make for yummy dessert..but he's also the guy who's wobbly..don't start drawing conclusions..I meant someone with too much of a wavering mind.He's the guy who's afraid of commitment, can't make simple decisions, and manages to change opinions at the drop of the hat.Can be quite infuriating...
Baked vegetable with white sauce and cheesy crust:He's the man for me..he isn't perfect.u may hate quite a lot of those veggies..but has a lotta shades to him, he's dependable, he'll make u feel spoilt and pampered, would be just dry vegetables without the crust...but he's main course material. He's the kinds whose recipe u can discuss easily with moms..and they approve!
And finally...
Triple chocolate sundae, with whipped cream,completely non fattening..and always available when u need it:Its very simple..He simply does not exist..he's the Mr. Right and Mr. wonderful that we all dream of as naive teenagers.the kind that we think will always be romantic and understand us and will be the kind who will do the dishes..umm what the hell..
As my mind explores the endless possibilities within the territories of take out and make out slowly realization dawns that one is better off eating the baked veggies and surviving happily rather than waiting for some non existent dessert n starving...
Speaking of taste reminds me of some of the other good things in life, thankfully which are available in plenty, like food!Now for a complete foodie such as myself it isn't too unusual to try and relate the two things that occupy prime space in my thoughts..good food and interesting men.Other than the fact that the former can be found perpetually everywhere, and the latter is closer to becoming a myth, the two are not too far apart from each other.All men can be best described by some kind of food and so follows an introduction to this concept for the uninitiated..or the committed.
The Burger:Junk, available everywhere in plenty, run-of-the-mill stuff that does nothing for the imagination or senses.This is the guy who's most likely to come up with the most cheesy pick up lines like "Hey baby, can I buy you a drink" or "I think I must have known you in another life..you seem familiar".This is also the guy who thinks he can charm any woman with Joey's "How 're you doin?".In short strictly avoidable and nauseating.
Popcorn:This is the guy that keeps popping up everywhere..the market, the movies, the univ..no matter where u go he's always there.(Read..the best friend who has a crush on u)..he could never be the main course or the dessert, but he's always good for wherever u might wanna go.He's ur shopping partner, company to check out the latest joint or the latest movie, ur confidant.He also demands a lot of ur time.Could have u begging for a change and some space but then there are always those chicks who never mind having some popcorn around at any given time.
French fries:This is the guy whom u'd love to have for a long time before u get tired of him. Usually ur childhood sweetheart..b4 u realize that u can now finally distinguish between junk and good food and know what works best for u.But then its also difficult to shed off all those calories it brought with it.
Chocolate cake:This is the guy you can't get enough of.Absolutely delicious and can get u hooked for life...this is also the guy who's bad for u..like all the calories that come along.Makes awesome dessert, but mistaking him for the main course can cause serious repercussions.
Fruit salad:he's the guy-next-door.He's the multi talented guy..he's the guy whom u find very hard not to like coz there's always some fruit in there that suits ur taste.He'll play sport and also play music and he's the one u'll swap interesting stories with, and flirt with every morning.He goes with everything.He's cool, he's conventional and there's nothing remotely exciting about him, but sometimes.. we all need some fruit salad.
Creme Brule'e: He's the perfect dessert..sweet,suave, sophisticated and has the dough for having a really good time.He's the guy whom you'll associate with a fancy French restaurant, the opera, the theater..yummy.However he's also the guy who thinks he's god's gift to women.Can also appear really grand, but when ur through with him, u come out with a toothache.He's the kind of guy that my roomie terms as "All fart,..no shit".U get the picture..sometimes too much dough can give u a lotta constipation!
Bread:He's the guy with no imagination and super dry.The guy who will probably go around like a dork and ask never- heard- of questions like "Do u think if I buy only black T shirts..I might never have to do laundry again??" Oh boy! Cheap and in no way harmful, but then does nothing for ur taste buds.
Jello:He's sweet and can make for yummy dessert..but he's also the guy who's wobbly..don't start drawing conclusions..I meant someone with too much of a wavering mind.He's the guy who's afraid of commitment, can't make simple decisions, and manages to change opinions at the drop of the hat.Can be quite infuriating...
Baked vegetable with white sauce and cheesy crust:He's the man for me..he isn't perfect.u may hate quite a lot of those veggies..but has a lotta shades to him, he's dependable, he'll make u feel spoilt and pampered, would be just dry vegetables without the crust...but he's main course material. He's the kinds whose recipe u can discuss easily with moms..and they approve!
And finally...
Triple chocolate sundae, with whipped cream,completely non fattening..and always available when u need it:Its very simple..He simply does not exist..he's the Mr. Right and Mr. wonderful that we all dream of as naive teenagers.the kind that we think will always be romantic and understand us and will be the kind who will do the dishes..umm what the hell..
As my mind explores the endless possibilities within the territories of take out and make out slowly realization dawns that one is better off eating the baked veggies and surviving happily rather than waiting for some non existent dessert n starving...
"The perfect lover is one who turns into pizza at 4am."
Charles Pierce.
Charles Pierce.
